


The Eve of Battle

by weakinteraction



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-08-30 17:35:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8542477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weakinteraction/pseuds/weakinteraction
Summary: In orbit around Malachor V, Revan contemplates what it is to come, and what might have been.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [puella_nerdii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/puella_nerdii/gifts).



"Are there any further questions?"

Bao-Dur's soft spoken manner belied the terrible nature of what he had just explained to them all. Revan looked around the wardroom table at her assembled generals. Usually, before a battle she would expect to see a mixture of apprehension, determination and, even amongst Jedi, excitement. But Bao-Dur's briefing on the Mass Shadow Generator had cast a pall over them all.

"We should rest," Revan said, when it became clear no one had anything further to say. "The Mandalorian fleet could arrive in as little as seven hours." She looked around one last time. "May the Force be with us all."

Bao-Dur left first, nodding his head in their direction. Then the generals stood up and headed slowly, sombrely for the door.

"Wait a moment," Revan said as Casha was about to leave. She had reached the door at the same time as Malak, and they were both clearly confused for a moment about which of them Revan was addressing. With a look, though, she hinted to Malak that he should withdraw and he ducked through the doorway. Casha seemed surprised. Revan knew that she had always kept her at arm's length, but she hadn't realised that Casha herself had picked up on it.

"What do you need?" Casha asked, standing on the opposite side of the wardroom table.

"Why do you follow me?" Revan turned to the view out of the window, the massed fleet, the planet far below them. A sacred world that tomorrow would be made profane. "Why have you followed me all the way to this place?"

"How can you ask that?" Casha said. "When you have led us so well, so far, how can you expect that we would do anything less? Without you, the Republic would already have fallen. None of the rest of us could ever be so tactically brilliant."

Revan didn't say anything for a moment. "So you would do whatever it takes to protect the Republic?"

"We all would," Casha said. "Not just the Jedi, everyone on the fleet."

"And you understand what I am asking you to do?"

"Didn't we just have this meeting?"

She couldn't understand, of course. She was answering in the abstract, giving the responses of a loyal general representing her loyal troops. She saw the plan only in terms of a victory that would be achieved at a terrible price, had no way of contemplating how that plan interlocked with others, or how she herself was a crucial component of the formation of the crucible in which Revan would reforge those Jedi who would not come willingly, train untapped Force sensitives to become assassins.

"Very well, then. Why do they follow _you_?" Revan asked.

Casha thought for a moment, and it was clear from her expression that she had never really considered the question before. It was as Master Kae had said, then: to one who formed Force bonds naturally, it was as unconscious as breathing. "I deal fairly with them," Casha said. "I listen to them. And I would never ask them to do something that I would not."

That was certainly true enough. From the first engagements on Dxun, the reports of Casha's bravery in leading from the front had been extremely consistent. Even at the Academy on Dantooine, she had had a reputation as a natural leader, even amongst those padawans who disliked her for reasons they could not articulate.

Revan looked out at the fleet. On every ship, in every fighter wing, in every company of soldiers, were her loyalists, ready to follow her wherever was necessary in order to protect the galaxy. Even if that meant war with the Republic. Even if they would fall in the process.

They would be branded traitors, and worse. The name "Sith" would once more be heard throughout the galaxy, from the lowliest Rim world cantinas to the senate chamber on Coruscant. If that was what it took to remind the Republic of the true threat, then so be it.

Revan had prepared herself -- had prepared all of them -- for the act of betrayal. But none of the terrible things that would ensue troubled her in the way that this act of betrayal did. If it worked, Casha would be robbed of her connection to the Force, proving Revan's theories right, giving her the opportunity to turn Malachor into a dark crucible. And if Revan was wrong, then Casha herself would become a monster even by the standards of the Sith.

Things could have been so very different. Revan had no doubt that if she had allowed it to happen, they could have forged a bond between them that would have meant Casha would have followed her anywhere. If she had taken Casha as her secret apprentice, instead of Malak, there was no limit on what they might achieve. But there was too much of a risk that it would work in the other direction, that Casha's affinity for the Light would have prevented Revan from doing what had to be done. And she truly was the perfect test subject.

"Revan?"

She forced herself to turn back and face Casha.

"Was there anything else?"

"I was just thinking of the paths we did not take," Revan said.

"What do you mean?" Casha said. "If we had not gone to war against the Council's wishes, the Republic would have fallen."

Revan crossed over to her. "I meant us, Casha. You and me."

They stood face to face, a mere fraction of a metre apart. This close, even Revan could not block out the way the Force wanted to draw them together. It would have been glorious. All the ancient holocrons she had consulted, all Master Kae's forbidden teaching, had not prepared her for the reality of it. Casha was like a star, spilling out radiation across the spectrum, and Revan was a planet in orbit, warmed by it. Revan became conscious of exactly how hard she had had to work to block out the connection all this time. Everything about Casha was magnetic, from her physical beauty to the way the Force flowed not through her as it did most Jedi, but _out_ of her.

Casha reached out and touched Revan's arm. "I always thought..." She gave a brief laugh. "I always thought you didn't really like me."

"Oh, Casha," Revan said. "Sometimes I think you are the best of all of us." She leaned upwards, ready to kiss.

But Casha withdrew, ever so slightly. "This is a bad idea. The Masters always said--"

"I think we're long past worrying about what the Masters say," Revan said. Every fibre of her being wanted to lean in again, to explore the connection between them, deepen it, glory in it. She forced herself through an impossible act of will to take a half step backwards. "But you're right, it is a bad idea."

"Revan--"

"Forgive me," Revan said. She reached up, kissed Casha not as she desperately wanted to but chastely on the cheek, before heading for the door.

She was Revan, master of strategy and tactical genius. She knew when she had to retreat, even if she hated herself for it.

"Forgive me," she said again before the door slid shut.

Her last sight of Casha was of her staring out of the window, uncomprehending. Would she ever come to comprehend the role she played in Revan's plans? Would there ever be an opportunity for forgiveness?

Revan knew that she did not deserve Casha's loyalty. And yet everything relied on the fact that she did. She had steeled herself for what they must do to the Republic and the Jedi Order, for the greater good of the galaxy. How could this one small, intimate betrayal be so hard?

She walked slowly back to her quarters, knowing that she would be unable to take her own advice to rest, haunted by the image of Casha alone in the ward room.

_Forgive me._


End file.
